Yesterday my seniors graduated... I'm sad.
The problem with this is that A) I lost a lot of friends and B) I am now left as a senior.
I don't want to be a senior. I don't want to graduate and I don't want to lose anymore friends. Once I graduate I will lose all but two who are going to college with me. I'm not going to lie, I'm scared. Growing up is terrifying I don't even feel old enough to be a senior and hell, everyone still thinks I look like a junior high kid.
How did all those years slip by me? Why am I sitting here shaking over something that's natural. I guess it's because I don't feel very self confident. People always say I'm really prude and stuff and that I am kind of weird. I've never felt comfortable around my peers... I don't like it.
I sit in class quietly resenting being alone, I feel alone even when I'm with most of my friends and I just can't handle it anymore, does everyone feel this lonely? Or is it just me... People find me funny when I do talk but I'm to scared and even when I do talk half the time I sound mad and pissed. I have found out that anger is my natural reaction to pretty much everything that I'm scared of. I don't like people hating on me, I get angry, don't like feeling vulnerable, angry, and I act like a know it all because I don't want anyone looking down on me... not ever again.
Maybe Senior year is a good way to have a fresh start. I don't know but I think I want to start a new, I want people to like me I want to smile I want people to laugh and I want to make jokes for everyone. I hope I get support this year so I'll be posting this blog as of now along with all of my other stories. Thanks guys.
The problem with this is that A) I lost a lot of friends and B) I am now left as a senior.
I don't want to be a senior. I don't want to graduate and I don't want to lose anymore friends. Once I graduate I will lose all but two who are going to college with me. I'm not going to lie, I'm scared. Growing up is terrifying I don't even feel old enough to be a senior and hell, everyone still thinks I look like a junior high kid.
How did all those years slip by me? Why am I sitting here shaking over something that's natural. I guess it's because I don't feel very self confident. People always say I'm really prude and stuff and that I am kind of weird. I've never felt comfortable around my peers... I don't like it.
I sit in class quietly resenting being alone, I feel alone even when I'm with most of my friends and I just can't handle it anymore, does everyone feel this lonely? Or is it just me... People find me funny when I do talk but I'm to scared and even when I do talk half the time I sound mad and pissed. I have found out that anger is my natural reaction to pretty much everything that I'm scared of. I don't like people hating on me, I get angry, don't like feeling vulnerable, angry, and I act like a know it all because I don't want anyone looking down on me... not ever again.
Maybe Senior year is a good way to have a fresh start. I don't know but I think I want to start a new, I want people to like me I want to smile I want people to laugh and I want to make jokes for everyone. I hope I get support this year so I'll be posting this blog as of now along with all of my other stories. Thanks guys.
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